Day 6

What Fitness is supposed to look like.

How I feel 

"Figures. All my life I've fought against imperialism. Now, suddenly I *am* the expanding Russian frontier."
"But with very nice borders."

Ivanova and Franklin,

This is supposed to be fun soon. Supposedly the benefits are going to heap upon me to outweigh the pain and embarrassment. In fact fitness propaganda constantly tells me about how much better exercise should be making me feel by now. Here's a breakdown of those benefits and why many of them do not apply to the obese trying to get back in shape.

1. Less Stress. No, exercise so far has been pretty darn stressful and the pain is throwing my whole life out of whack. I can't even do laundry without swearing like a sailor. 

2. Improves Mood. See above I assume that I don't have to explain why that makes for a terrible mood. 

3. Better Sleep. Not yet, mostly I'm being kept up with aches and cramps and when I do sleep it's restless and full of really weird nightmares from the adrenaline leftover by all the aforementioned stress.

4. Better Sex life. True so far but I think that has more to do with the fact that my boyfriend's leaving for a week than the exercise.

5. Better Overall Health. Yes, eventually this will make me more healthy that's kind of the point. 

6.More Energy. Bullshit I'm a living Romero movie right now. 

7. Lose or Manage Weight. Once again kind of the point. 

8. Better Metabolism. See above 

9. Decreases Chances of Disease. See above 

10. Better Concentration.  Lies! So, very sleepy! 

So yeah I am on day six and wondering when the hell this becomes a magical sparkly process that turns me into Cinderella because this "doing it the hard way" stuff is bullshit. 

Where's the application for a fairy godmother?! 

Yes I'm aware this is useless whining; but it makes me feel better. This process is not unbearable, just hard. And unfortunately the montage movie culture we've grown up with makes it seem like this much work should be yielding at least something. It is, I have lost 1.5 inches off of my waist which means I have 4.5 left to go. My stomach is also two inches down with quite a ways to go. That just doesn't seem like very much at all. 

Ok, enough self pity for one day. Onward to sewing!